•   Understand that Warner Yance is not Warren Nacey. And, while based on my idiot self, he is a cute combination of pet personalities from my past – as are most characters in the novel. I made him handsome, clever and wealthy to facilitate the plotline there employed – if he had to work and worry and wank he could never have performed the tasks described.

•   Get into the Zeitgeist. It was essential to set the story in 1990; at a time when the f-word was still able to shock; before mobile phones and the awful internet proliferation. And also before the FCUK fashion campaign that teased old schoolers while stealing my thunder and breaking my IPR heart in two.

•   Endure the ‘diary’ sections. I have included the mundane childhood/school/family stuff to illustrate Warner’s Kunstlerroman – the artist’s journey – as in what makes someone want to create in an unencouraging, constrained environment. Is it apriori expressive instinct, an overweening psychotic urge, or just a need to attract attention?

•   Know that the characters are deliberately two dimensional; they are supposed to be cartoonish – representations of character and quirk all caught up in the magical moments and silly situations we each go through. The plot and people don’t really matter; they are only furniture; props to hang my ideas upon. Understand that every word has been worked a hundred times; there are no accidents, no drifting drivel; it all means something – about the story, or one's day to day.

•   Keep reading. If you lose the rhythm of the text being read you will lose the gist of the story being told. There is a definite metre – DA DA DA DE DA DA DUM… hard set in there. Which is why the rewrite took five years. I found this process extremely taxing; adding or removing whichever words to enhance the flow would often confuse the lines of logic – wherever they lead.

•   Don’t be put off by the narrative style. The work was written in combi-first/third person. First person would place me too centrally; third person would require a godlike commentator providing accurate information, and with a research budget of zero pounds, shillings and pence access to data, including details of my own history, was largely limited. The sundry specifics had to be determined through Warner's eyes – as he remembers them – however hazily.

•   See that each paragraph/verse/stanza performs at least three actions: tells a tale; analogises a situation; takes the piss out of all involved, myself especially. It was always intended to treat heavy subjects lightly and light subjects heavily. I wanted to leave any emotional reaction to the reader… makes yer choice.

•   Trust that the sex, drugs and violence is not there to titillate. It’s mostly there for the haha humour – and to discuss how we handle random episodes of extreme behaviour. I have slightly enhanced the sexual actions and hugely diminished the drugs adventures.

•   Recognise all mention of artists, thinkers, performers and writers as being relevant to the issues discussed. I like to follow references when I’m reading; I expect my readers to be likewise enthused – fire up the old Google, check out these supposedly passé Heroes. As I say in the book: don’t read people’s opinions of Karl Marx, read Karl Marx. You will be amazed – we have been lied to – for 150 fucking years?

•   Get onside with the Warner character. If you’re not on his team you will never enjoy any part of the plot. You have to empathise with his manic machinations. Even if he is a self-centred arse.

   I started writing my novel on the 1st of November 2010 and finished on the 1st of December 2011. The work had taken exactly 13 months and was 470 pages long. I initially published on Amazon Createspace in August 2013. I realised the book wasn't well enough written in January 2014 and started editing. I managed to cull 60 odd pages without damaging my original narrative; it was just a matter of phonetic flow; I added nothing. I finished rewriting in March 2018. This final edition available above was published in April 2018.