• I’ve never seen so many happy people out in the streets. Mobs of suntanned, smiling families stroll serene; kids skipping, dogs drooling; joggers waving, usually angry spandex cyclists easy give way to every comer. They say we’ll have a new world order post-Corona – a re-evaluation of consumerist indulgence – no more GREED! What a shame this won’t be true.
 • I see one treatment being trialed for Covid-19 involves Interferon – the compound used to treat Hepatitis C, which I endured for a nine month session twenty years ago. They try to avoid this substance these days due to adverse physical and psychological side effects – from which I STILL suffer. God help all Covid patients if it works.
 • They’ve boarded up the billion barbershops cramming our precinct. As cutting your own hair is a tricky business. One can only trim the sides with any confidence; top and back are fashion fraught. Makes an acceptable Mohican mullet; scarily like a hillbilly convict. Is this how that hairstyle came to be?
  • I watched a thriller series on Channel 4 years ago called Utopia. It was about some evil government agency created a virus programmed to eradicate specific DNA thereby eliminating undesirable racial elements. I can’t remember the actual ending but I seem to recall the chosen genetic code involved the Irish. Uh Oh?!
 • My new favourite thing is yelling, ‘NOT ANY MORE!’ at pre-Corona-filmed television programs whenever some travelling, selling, sexual or socialising comment is made.
 • You don’t see people spitting in streets these days – used be popular round my way.
 • Outside my window I hear an optimistic Mr Whippy van ringing his bells. I’m surprised the idiot hasn’t been lynched by local vigilantes calling Covid curfew?
 • Aidan Crabtree used to say, ‘The closer to the coalface, the more important the worker.’ He was talking about hierarchic utility – that the lowest operators, those DOING THE WORK, contribute most to team production – the higher ups, assessed in REAL time, are progressively irrelevant when you honestly count those income dollars. Contemplating our commoner workers out under lockdown: deliverers, retailers, cleaners, warehousemen, labourers, nurses, gardeners, road workers, bus drivers, train drivers, cooks, coopers, candlestick makers… currently receiving daily encouragement from the genteel bourgeoisie. CLAP FOR YOUR HEROES! I cannot but wonder how long it will take these so solid citizens to dismiss such staff once quarantine conditions have been dispensed with. Probably minutes.
 • To misquote Charlie Brooker: ‘The Corona pandemic is setting capitalism’s plan to destroy the planet back ten years.’ I wish I’d said that!
 • Yesterday someone said my Kiwi accent had become really strong in the last ten weeks – without that daily British banter? I suppose isolation removes any need for fair fitting in – as we revert to type – to an innocent essence. I'm hoping this effect will apply across the board; maybe my hair will grow back thicker, lose a few pounds. Would be nice.
 • The recent oil and stock market value reductions may well be seen as an appropriate adjustment to over-inflated previous prices – correction of a bubble which inflated too far? Complaints about the travel industry’s possible demise are echoing hollow – with far too many random flights filling the skies, perhaps we’ll reach a more sensible assessment on our largely unnecessary mass jet-settings?
 • My sense of smell and taste is better than it’s ever been. Is there such a thing as anti-Corona?
 • Remainers moaning across all media; We need Euro workers to pick our berries and pluck our plums, the English are too lazy! How about paying £15 an hour for said endeavours – you’ll have UK civilians queued around the block, happy to bend their Great British backs. A premise that applies across the board.